It takes self-worth to have a dream

​Someone I served with during conscription into the South African National Defense Force in the 1980’s, with whom I maintained a friendship for a while after our “army days” and with whom I reconnected on Facebook recently, wrote on his Facebook timeline:

​‘I was asked today "What would your advice be to someone who is inclined to become depressed by the worries of daily life?"
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‘My answer - have a dream. Have a realistic but worthwhile dream that is within your capabilities to achieve.’

​I would agree with William Pulles’ response. I can also see why William would give this response. Since our “army days” William has become an international expert on mine water and has run his own consulting company since 1993. He has consulted to international companies such as Golder Associates. For the past 3 years William lives on and runs a gooseberry farm in Montague in the Western Cape.

"My answer - have a dream. Have a realistic but worthwhile dream that is within your capabilities to achieve."

Not everyone, however, has a dream.

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One of the members of the Coaching Culture Club I joined in May 2016 (I’ll call him Stuart - not his real name) is a “realist”. Stuart has a good job that provides for him and his family but he doesn’t particularly like his job. He does some acting in amateur theatre productions to relieve the boredom of his life. When Stuart started on his personal development journey in Coaching Culture Clubs he was quite blunt: he had no dreams. When pressed, it turned out he did not think he was worth it.

This is not uncommon. Many people do not have enough self-worth to have a dream.

Many people do not have enough self-worth to have a dream.

We live in a very competitive society where, to be remembered, you must be number 1. Most people know who Michael Phelps is (most decorated Olympian of all time), but very few people, except Michael, will remember who came second – mostly by a split second – in all the swimming races where Michael won Gold. Even when you are competent, people around you will praise the one who achieves best; your self-worth will take a knock.

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The world remembers the winner, not the second placed.

​Competition starts in school. No only on the sport field, but in the class room. Did your report card at school say: “can do better!” The achievers are called out and presented with awards. You realise that your best is not good enough; you are not valued like the achievers; your self-worth takes a knock.
 
To have a dream, often begins with building one’s own self-worth.

To have a dream, often begins with building one’s own self-worth.

​I’m happy to report that Stuart – the fellow member in the Coaching Culture Club of which I am a member – (not his real name) eventually created a Vision Board that contained some dreams. But more importantly, Stuart recently reported that he has joined up with a few other people to make music again – to live one of his dreams. And Stuart has written a one-act play that is ready for performance by the theatre group with which he acts. We have seen Stuart’s self-worth grow in a coaching culture environment and with it, his dreams.
 
So to William Pulles I say: “Show someone how to develop their self-worth and they will find their dream to hold onto.”

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